In the quit sugar world, you’ll often find that people demonise sugar and view it as the enemy. If that’s what they feel comfortable doing to keep themselves sugar-free and don’t want to change anything, who am I to try to stop them? I’ll leave them to it.
But I view this kind of behaviour as problematic.
A few years ago, I had a similar outlook, but over time I started to realise that I was adopting what felt like an unhealthy outlook in order to have a healthy body.
In other words, releasing sugar from my life was helping me to be healthier, but having such an unhealthy outlook was contributing nothing to my well-being.
But if you view sugar as the enemy, it will lead you to view any food that contains sugar as evil.
And any time you visit the supermarket and see those foods, your mind will go straight to bad, evil, deadly. This is not conducive to good mental health.
More importantly, it’s a potential precursor to you having an unhealthy relationship with food, presuming that you don’t already.
The last thing I want for you is to feel that you have to eat healthy food because you’re trying to escape from the ‘evil’ stuff.
I don’t want you to feel scared and threatened by it; that’s such heavy energy to always carry around with you.
I want you to feel like a happy and empowered sugar-free woman. Someone who can say:
‘I don’t want to eat that stuff because it doesn’t give my body the right nutrition. I instead want to eat wholesome food because it makes me feel good; it’s tastier; and I feel so much happier looking after myself in this way’.
‘That stuff is so bad. It’s dangerous, and it’s scary, so I better eat this healthy stuff instead’.
Can you feel the difference? In the first scenario, the energy is so much lighter, and you can’t help but feel good, whereas in the second scenario, that heavier energy weighs you down.
Even if you feel good about making healthier food choices, the heavy energy is still there lurking in the background. But it doesn’t have to.
Become a happy and empowered sugar-free woman
In order to be a happy and empowered sugar-free woman, there are five elements that need to be in place:
- Be certain about who you are as a sugar-free woman
- Get comfortable with your decision
- Trust yourself
- Show yourself compassion
- Allow yourself to be human
Be certain about who you are as a sugar-free woman
This means choosing the type of sugar-free you want to be. I made a video about the three different types because people who choose to go down this path do it in their own way. There isn’t only one way.
You can then put some guidelines in place, not just for food but for your life in general, so that you have an idea of how you want to show up as a sugar-free woman.
Ensure that they are guidelines and not hard-and-fast rules. Creating strict rules feels restrictive, and you will end up feeling miserable and eventually want to break free.
Not enforcing strict rules might be a bit more difficult if you choose category one (see video).
Get comfortable with your decision
This is important because you may be certain about who you want to be, but if you don’t feel comfortable with the idea, there’s room for doubt or even embarrassment to creep in.
When it comes to your family and friends, if they question your decision, you may start to waiver: you’ll have one foot in and one foot out, and you’ll never quite commit.
It could even be that you’re not really certain about who you want to be. If that’s the case, you’ll need to revisit element one. And if you’re not comfortable because you’re trying to force yourself to eliminate sugar from your diet, even though you don’t really want to, then stop. If it’s not what you genuinely want to do, your chance of succeeding is low.
If you’ve been advised by your doctor to quit, that’s a different matter.
This means trusting that even if things don’t work out in the way you want them to as you step further into becoming a sugar-free woman, you trust that you’ll be okay anyway and that you’ll always find your way back to being what you want to be.
A lack of trust will only lead to you wanting to control everything in the same way that someone would try to control their partner because they don’t trust them.
The problem is that in trying to exert control, you’re repeatedly sending out a message that you’re really not in control, and you’ll find yourself in a vicious circle:
Trying to control > feeling powerless > trying to control > feeling powerless
Trust is what will help you to let go and relax into your sugar-free life.
Show yourself compassion
Being hard on yourself and calling yourself names will not help you on your sugar-free journey.
What’s wrong with me?
Why can’t I get anything right?
I’m so stupid
This will never work
Tearing yourself down will never help you: it will do the opposite because by becoming a sugar-free woman, you’re helping yourself to be healthier. But if you’re always harsh on yourself, you won’t want to help yourself.
It may not be a conscious decision, but thoughts of I’m useless will lead to thoughts of why bother? or I don’t deserve it. That’s when you’ll find it the hardest to be who you want to be.
By having compassion for yourself, and lots of it, you will have your own back and will be able to support yourself as you embark on this new life.
Allow yourself to be human
This ties in with element four. We put so much pressure on ourselves and set incredibly high expectations, but we seem to forget that in being human, we will often fall down in ways that we don’t like.
This leads to us getting annoyed with ourselves and asking unhelpful questions. This then leads to us forgetting or simply ignoring the fact that as humans our lives are often up and down.
We may not enjoy the bumps, but, like it or not, they will come, and we will continue to make mistakes, fall down, not do what we set out to do and do what we’re not supposed to do.
The more you allow yourself to be human, especially in relation to food, the happier you’ll feel.
However, it doesn’t mean making excuses.
If you say that you want to be a sugar-free woman, but you intentionally eat something sugary every day, and then use the being-human element to justify your behaviour, maybe you don’t really want to be sugar-free, and that’s okay.
Come back to it another time when and if you decide that it’s what you genuinely want for yourself.
It might even be that you’ve chosen a sugar-free category that you don’t really want to be in, so that would be something else for you to consider.
As you can see, there’s more to being a sugar-free woman than simply eliminating sugar from your life.
Having a healthier body is one thing but having a healthier body and a healthy frame of mind around food is what will truly support your well-being as a sugar-free woman.